When a woman is not in the mood.

I caught this over at our parish website when I was looking for mass times for tomorrow. I think I will renew an old resolution this year. Here is the LINK.

Merry Christmas!

"Blessed are we who celebrate this day as the greatest discovery of all time- the discovery that God, for whom we groped in the darkness, has pierced the darkness with his humanity and has found us. May all who have walked in darkness today welcome the light: Jesus Christ, Emmanuel" -from the Magnificat Advent Companion 2009


I hope everyone is blessed enough to be too busy to read this post today!

Good post over at Happy Little Homemaker

Catholic prayers.

Knowing God's will

Don't you just wish there was an instruction manual for life sometimes? I know I do! My husband and I have been struggling with what we should do about our situation for the last few months. Our situation is this: I am working, he hasn't been able to find work since he graduated in May and passed the BAR exam in July (results came in September) and we have a wonderful little high-needs (to borrow the Dr. Sears term) 8 month old daughter. Our goal when we got married was to have me stay home when we had small children and raise them while he supported the family. The economy being what it is right now, his job prospects aren't looking so good. He has literally sent out dozens and dozens of applications and not a single interview even. I have been praying and praying that he would get a job, even an interview, so that we could make the transition that we need to make, and praying for a sign of what we are supposed to do. It hasn't been good for our relationship for me to be the breadwinner right now and our daughter is starting a separation anxiety phase which is magnified because she is such an intense little thing and it seems to center around me. So we made a decision on Friday. We are moving home to live with family and will have to weather a period of uncertain income in order to make our goal of me being a stay at home mom a reality. The hardest thing about this decision has been that I just kept expecting some sort of 'sign' to appear. You know, a billboard saying "Happiness and security- 1 mile exit to the right" or something of that nature. But maybe sometimes the absence of a sign is enough of a nudge in the right direction. For example: I like my job, it is challenging enough to be interesting without being overwhelming and it is pretty fast paced (well, for the world of nursing anyway), however, lately it has been getting harder and harder for me to go to work and not feel overwhelmed by it. Things that shouldn't bother me do and it is getting harder and harder for me to leave my precious little girl in the morning when all she wants is her mama. It's like when we try to proceed in the direction of my job, me working and him staying home, it gets harder and harder with each step. But when we started thinking about moving home, things didn't exactly fall into place but it seemed like a way opened up for us. It hasn't been clear as day that this is the right choice for us but... It's like the days when you would call someone (before everyone had answering machines) and the phone would just ring and ring. At some point you just had to hang up and move on, call someone else, or whatever. It feels like we have just been waiting on the line forever and nobody is picking up, and maybe that is a clear enough sign to just move on. Jen over at Conversion Diary has written a lot of good posts about knowing God's will also and I have gotten immense insight from reading them. Does anyone else have any thoughts about this subject?

7 Quick Takes Friday

1.

I always hated getting up early in the morning when I was a kid. Lately I find that I am enjoying it more and more. It is hard to get a moment to myself during the day because when I am home I am trying to spend as much time as possible with DH and the little one. I work 3 days a week and have to take call on most of the afternoons I am off so time is at a premium for me. I find that getting up early is the only hope I have of finishing knitting projects and almost the only time I can get on the computer without it interfering with my parenting/wifely duties.

2.

I am really making an effort to try and fill the role of a stay at home mom whenever I am home. It is tough sometimes when I get home from work in the evening to resume that role since I am tired and drained from working and dealing with other people all day but someday (hopefully not too far off) that will be my role. Anyway it should always be my first priority even if I have to remain working for a while longer.

3.

I am getting super excited to go back to Michigan for a visit with family next week! We are going to have an early Thanksgiving at my mom's house with my little brother who I haven't seen in a long time.

4.

I want a spinning wheel. It has started to consume my mind lately. This one in particular:


The only thing I am worried about is if I will have a steep learning curve. I am getting pretty good at using my drop spindle but I haven't ever spun yarn on a wheel, except once at my aunt's house when I was very new to spinning and I found it difficult at that time.

4.

I am feeling antsy lately. I feel like we are on the brink of change just waiting to fall. DH has been trying really hard to find a job and we are praying that one of the ones he has applied for will hire him. Otherwise we have a couple backup plans but things might be really tough for a while if/when we have to implement them.

5.

Recent finished objects: Baby cardigan for a friend:

This was a nice knit I could do anywhere or anytime and didn't have to think too much. It is a seamless, top-down sweater with DK weight yarn on #2 needles. Pattern here and yarn here

6.

I need an eggless pumpkin pie recipe. Anyone?

7.

I am liking daylight savings this year, now that I am getting up early it is nice to see the sunrise in the morning. Of course I will probably hate it when spring comes and we lose an hour.

WIP Wednesday

Well, I dont have any good pic's to post this time for my Works In Progress Wednesday but I will tell you about them anyway. I am still plugging (slowly) away on my mom's scarf and I keep thinking I want to make one for myself, that artyarn's silk is scrumptious! There is a yellow/green baby hat that has been plaguing me forever and is slowly getting close to being done. Note to self: no more fingering weight merino on my #4 size Knitpicks harmony interchangable needles, too sticky and frustrating! Then there is a big pink garter stitch bulky Alpaca/wool cowl for me and a pair of 2 at a time socks on #2 circ needles that I have just barely started. A pink hat for Bella that she has been wearing despite the fact I have not put ties on the earflaps yet. And in the spinning department I am working on some red, green, and tan colored Corriedale yarn. I am making some of it with the colors in solid stripes and some of it with the three colors plied together in various combinations to coordinate. I hope to make Isabelle a pair of cute Christmasy longies out of it. And finally in the planning stages are: a pair of longies for Isabelle out of some SoHo thick and thin yarn, slippers for Christmas presents and, scarves, socks and hats for Christmas presents. What are you working on right now?

Redecorated for Fall

Orange, brown, green and dark purple. Reminds me of fall leaves, Halloween, thanksgiving, and pumpkins. Yay!

7 Quick Takes Friday

--1--

Hurrah! My first time participating in 7 quick takes hosted by the lovely Jen over at Conversion Diary. I really like the idea and have just been too busy/lazy to do it in the past. Of course there is nothing to say that I won't revert to that state busy/lazy but, hey, I am trying.

--2--

Speaking of Friday, I am sooo glad it is Friday and what is more I am not on call for work this weekend. It is so nice to have a job that does not require me to work weekends most of the time. It is also nice to have a job (as a nurse) that is a regular 8 hour daytime shift instead of crazy 12 hour evening, midnight, whatever shifts.

--3--

PIE. I like making it. I like eating it. Currently on the menu is apple since they are in season. I just need to find a recipe for pumpkin that does not include eggs. Anyone have any ideas?

--4--

Since we are on the topic of eating. I can't tell if this recent baked goods craze is related to the weather changing and getting colder, or my stress level. Either way I am not worried since breastfeeding seems to be keeping the pounds off for now.

--5--

STRESS. Now, I am sure my stress level is laughable compared to some people's but nevertheless it is present and difficult to deal with at times lately. My husband is having a hard time finding work so we are living on my part time income. Our goal is for me to be home with the little one while he works but it doesn't seem to be working out that way for us right now. Any prayers directed in our general direction would be most welcome as we are trying to discern God's will for our life right now.

--6--

My husband is a wonderful man. Enough said.

--7--

I have almost completely switched from wanting to shop for clothing for ME, to wanting to shop for clothing for my daughter. For one thing she doesn't need to try things on, if something is too big she can grow into it and it is a good thing (for me this would not be the case), price tags are nicer on little one's clothing (well for the most part), and baby clothes are just so stinkin cute!

Cozy Morning

Snow outside my window


Homemade cherry pie and warm tea for breakfast

Sleeping angel.

Knitting Progress

First is the baby cardigan I have been working on for a friend who just had a baby.



And next is the yummy 100% silk scarf I have been working on for my mom. It is so soft and lovely!


Well that is all for today, I have some spinning projects in the works but no pictures good enough to post and a couple other knitting projects that I have not made much headway on.

Recipe: gluten and corn free rice krispie treats

Why gluten and corn free? Because my darling daughter has some food allergies and corn happens to be one of the offending characters. It only happens to be gluten free by chance. You could also make it dairy free by omitting the butter and substituting 1/4 cup of sunflower butter (or nut butter of your choice). Oh, and yes, my daughter is only 6 months old and as of yet is not eating much in the way of solid food, however, whatever I eat gets into my breastmilk and can potentially cause her problems. So I have been on (and off) an allergy elimination diet since she was about 2 1/2 months old. Not much fun for me but very helpful for her. Anyway, here is the recipe:

1 cup sugar
1 cup brown rice syrup
1 and 1/4 cup sunflower seed butter
1/4 cup butter (if not using butter add another 1/4 cup of sunflower seed butter)
about 5 cups puffed rice or other rice cereal (if you are trying to eliminate corn make sure to read the ingredient list, rice krispies have corn syrup in them)
vanilla to taste

Butter (or use oil if not doing dairy) a 9x13 baking dish
Combine sugar and rice syrup in a pan and boil
Once boiling add sunflower seed butter, butter and vanilla and stir until well combined
remove from heat and add the cereal, mixing until the cereal is well coated
press into the baking dish with a spatula or buttered fingers (it will be sticky) and let cool
cut into bars and serve!

I wish I would have taken a picture of these but I ate them before I thought about it. :)

Merger

I am going to start posting my knitting projects and all craft related things here. I simply don't post enough to justify having different blogs for different things so there you have it! :)

I feel like a groundhog on February 2nd...

Poking my head out of the hole I have temporarily disappeared into. I looked around long enough to read this post. It is a wonderful reminder to me of what I need to be doing with my life and to keep letting go (ok dragging them out kicking and screaming) of my bad habits. If I have time I will post more on this subject but if not... well there is a just-over-two-feet-tall person who needs me more than this blog. :)

Its been awhile

...so to start brushing off all the dust here is an article worth reading.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2009/jul/09072902.html

What we've been up to..

Studying (him) and taking care of the little one (mostly me). Not much time for blogging unfortunately but soon there will be more time... hopefully. :)

In no particular order

I am going to start posting things I am learning as I go about being a mom. They will be, as the title of this post says, in no particular order.

Last night it dawned on me, after a conversation with my husband, that motherhood is going to take much more planning than I originally thought. Actually I should say more than I ever conceived because I never really thought about it. I figured it was as simple as: 1) have baby 2)love baby (and feed, clothe, diaper, etc.) 3)put baby down for a nap 4) clean house while baby is sleeping and/or happily entertained by a hanging mobile/toy bar. Enter reality. This baby needs my (or someones) full and undivided attention most of the day and when she does nap chances are I am so tired from getting up in the middle of the night and attending to her that I probably need one too.

So lesson number one: plan your day and keep a fairly consistent routine (i.e. bedtime which has not been consistent for us... I will let you know how that goes...) Then if things get off track you at least had a plan so you can say "look how well my day was supposed to go!" :) But seriously, I hope by planning my day to be less frustrated at the end of it when I look back and go: "where did all that time go and oh my gosh I didnt get anything done." Which ties in nicely with my next post which will be about setting SMALLER goals.

Ponderings

Well, for only the second time in 6 weeks, we have our apartment to ourselves and I can't deny feeling a little relieved. As much as I love to have family visit, I do feel the need to take some time and reflect on life (and there is a lot to reflect on!) For starters being a mom is harder than I thought. I thought I was prepared for how demanding it would be, after all, I have been a nurse for almost 6 years and I am accustomed to taking care of other people. One thing I didn't take into account: at the end of the shift, whether it was 8 or 12 hours, I got to go home and unwind. I got to relax and try and process or forget about my day depending on how draining it was. Enter the crying baby: there is no end of the shift here. Still, you forget about how tired you are the moment she wakes up without crying and peers intently into your eyes, just like you forget how hard and long the labor was and how uncomfortable the pregnancy was the moment you get your hands on her after she is born. I still am struggling with anxiety and worry but I am trying to let go and let God take care of all of those things I have no control over but which terrify me. I pray for the ability to follow his will and relinquish my fear and worry. I really should be doing it more often though (praying). It is harder to make time for it when there is no routine but I really need to. Daily prayer throughout the last half of my pregnancy got me through every doctor appointment and even the day we were told, unexpectedly, that we had to go to the hospital to be induced. Hmm lots to ponder and process still. Hopefully I can make enough sense of things and get enough clarity to write about it more clearly in my next post.

She's here and a week old already!

Isabelle was born March 22nd at 2:24 AM after a very long labor. I was induced a month early for preeclampsia and we have been so blessed that she is doing very very well! It took me, on the other hand, a little more time to recover although hopefully I will start to regain some energy soon.

Update

Well we went in to the perinatal clinic yesterday and everything checked out ok so they said I can go ahead and ignore my frequent BH contractions. It was quite a relief. They did a fetal fibronectin test which they said, if it was negative, is a good indicator that you won't go into labor anytime in the next 1 to 2 weeks. It was negative so we were happy. The alternative would have been some very unpleasant drugs if I was actually in preterm labor, which may even have been somewhat dangerous for me to take, not to mention who knows what effect they would have on the baby. Anyway, thank you again for the prayers. We continue to be blessed throughout this pregnancy and we are so thankful.

If you read this...

Please say a prayer for us. I have been having a lot of contractions last night and this morning, up to 8 per hour. We are trying to decide whether to go in or not since they don't really follow a pattern and I am nervous since we are only just past the 33 week mark. For now I am in bed and trying to drink lots of fluids but if they don't calm down in an hour or so we may be heading to the doctor.

30 week update

Well we have about 10 weeks to go till my due date and I am feeling a bit unprepared. I am having a strong urge to nest but things have been so busy around here lately I haven't had time to get all the things done that I want to get done. There are drawers to empty out and organize (so they can be filled with baby clothes!), clothes to put into storage, clutter to be cleaned out, and lots of general cleaning to do. I am hoping to get more of it done this week and next week.
In other news we got another good report at the Dr.'s office today. The baby still looks healthy and got good results on her non stress test and biophysical profile. Also the tumor seems to have stabilized and doesn't seem to be growing a whole lot. We are so thankful that our prayers are being heard and we continue to pray for good results for the rest of the pregnancy and delivery.

28 week appointment

We got wonderful news today at the doctor's office. All of the baby's measurements are within normal range and the high pressure measurement from last time may have simply been an inaccurate reading due to the baby moving around so much. Anyway that means we go back in two weeks as usual for another checkup. The doctor even said that our baby's fetal monitor strip was one of the best ones she has seen for this gestational age.

27 week appointment and update

We had our ultrasound and appointment with the perinatologist yesterday and, although things are still looking normal, the doctor was a little concerned that the blood flow in the baby's brain was trending up at a faster rate than normal. This means we have to go back next week for another ultrasound and a biophysical profile. We are praying so hard that things will still be normal. When we asked what happens if the trend continues upward too quickly she mentioned betamethasone shots. That means premature delivery. :( She said if that happens we will hope to try and make it to at least 32 weeks and preferrably at least 34 weeks. It seems like such a long way away... Please pray that things will level out and the baby will continue to measure in normal limits.

Update

So as of last Wednesday, everything was looking fine with the baby and the growth on my placenta hadn't gotten significantly larger, which was very good news. We continue to pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth for this little one without further complications. I passed the 26 week mark on Sunday and I can't wait until we get to the 28 week mark so I can breathe a little easier.
In other pregnancy related news, our childbirth classes are going well so far. We are taking Bradley Method childbirth classes and I really like it. They focus on preparing for birth the way you would prepare for a marathon or other such intensely physical event, which makes sense. Right now I am trying to focus mostly on increasing my activity level and on my diet, especially eating more protein and green vegetables. Things kind of went crazy over the holidays and I found myself eating a lot of sugary foods and the more I eat sugar the more I want sugar, a vicious cycle. So today I was checking my email and I saw an email with a link to this in my inbox. How cool is that? It's just what I needed to get back on track planning meals, which really helps in the healthy eating department. I find when I don't meal plan I just grab what ever is easiest/quickest and that doesn't translate into the most nutritious food most of the time.
Otherwise things have been good if a bit stressful. I have started knitting things for the baby and I sometimes wish I had a few extra pairs of hands so I could knit more than one thing at a time! I have finished another flannel diaper which came out much better than the last one, and I got a bunch of receiving blankets on sale for $4.98 for a 4-pack at Target. I have read that they make good flat fold diapers and the prints are so cute and girly. I think I am starting to lose some of the energy boost I got in the beginning of my second trimester. I am finding myself wishing for a nap in the afternoon at work lately. So that's the update, thank you to those of you who have said prayers for us and please continue to pray that we will have a healthy happy outcome with this pregnancy.