December 24, 2008
Well we got some good news and I am so thankful to God and our Blessed Mother for that. The tumor on my placenta (it's a chorioangioma) hasn't gotten any bigger in the last week and is just on the borderline of of being a size that can cause major complications. The baby looks normal, all the measurements look good, the heart and brain are normal, and baby is growing well. I am so relieved! Now we just need to keep praying that the tumor won't get bigger/cause problems for the baby. We also found out it is a little girl! I was very surprised at first since from the beginning of my pregnancy I "felt" like it was a boy. Now we just need to pick out a girl name.
December 5, 2008
These took me a LONG time to make but I am encouraged by the results. Hopefully as I get better at sewing it will get faster. Aren't they cute!?
November 23, 2008
November 11, 2008
October 7, 2008
(Excerpt courtesy of babygaga.com)
"Some women are lucky; they don’t get morning sickness. There are some that have a little less luck; they get some morning sickness. Then there are the rest of us, the women with weeks of nonstop vomiting.
All that nonstop vomiting has a name: Hyperemesis. I have a feeling that hyperemesis is Latin for “Poor woman that vomits everything in sight.”
Since hyperemesis isn’t that well known, most people tend to ask questions such as “have you tried crackers?” or “I hear that ginger works.”
For many women, the only thing that works is having an 8-pound baby shoot out of her crotch.
I know that people are trying to be helpful, but it is really hard not to go postal on someone offering “advice,” especially if you spent the night before in the emergency room, getting IV fluids for dehydration.
I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to say “Crackers? Really? That’s all it takes? Eating a few stinking crackers? I’ve been vomiting for five months straight and all I needed to do was eat a stinking cracker?” "
Thank goodness I don't have it that bad!
September 13, 2008
September 4, 2008
September 1, 2008
August 29, 2008
August 26, 2008
In spite of the sickness, or more accurately because of it, I am constantly feeling reassured that this is a strong pregnancy, and I am *trying* to give my suffering up to God for the salvation of poor souls.
August 19, 2008
August 14, 2008
August 3, 2008
Meanwhile, we watched the movie "Bella" this weekend. All I can say is wow! What a wonderful, beautiful, sad, and life-affirming story. To say I cried would be an understatement. Of course, I have been more emotional than usual lately anyway but still. I think that movie will be on my Christmas shopping list for everyone in my family this year.
July 10, 2008
This yellow is very soft but there is only a tiny bit of it, it came as a free sample with my Drop Spindle.
Purple left over from my first spindle kit.
And finally, I was working on some socks for me with this lovely soft 100% merino sock yarn but I am doing too many sock projects right now so I frogged the sock and decided to make a baby hat out of it. Pattern is from 'Simple 1-2-3 Knitting' .
I also recently picked up this sampler from Knitpicks and I love love love the yarn! I can't wait to start some of the patterns.
June 27, 2008
I especially like the quote from the geneticist:
"Becoming a member of our species is conferred immediately upon conception. At the moment of conception a human being with 46 chromosomes comes into existence. These chromosomes, the organization, the chromosomal pattern is specifically human. The RNA, the messenger protein, the proteins are distinctly human proteins. So this new human being is a member of our species, and humanity is not acquired sometime along the path, it occurs right at conception. Dr. Peeters-Ney also stated that an embryo or fetus is whole in the sense that “[a]ll the genetic information sufficient and necessary to mature, and the information that is needed for this human being’s entire life is present at the time of conception”; that it is “separate from the mother” because “[t]he genetic program is totally complete and this human being will mature according to his or her own program”; and that it is unique because it has “a totally unique genetic code.”
It makes so much sense its scary.
June 15, 2008
June 4, 2008
May 30, 2008
Now for the bad news. I started spotting yesterday... then bleeding. :( I was totally freaked out and unhappy last night. I went to the doctor this morning and he did an ultrasound which showed a sac in my uterus which was good because he was worried about an ectopic pregnancy but he said he still can't completely rule out the possibility of one. I have been feeling pretty scared about that but I am trying to remain hopeful. I am supposed to head for the ER if I get stabbing pains. So far I have just felt a little crampy but I have felt that way since before I found out I was pregnant so it really isn't new. I just feel like I am having a period. My mom said when she was pregnant with me she had a full blown period the first month. I just hope and pray I don't lose the baby. That is about all for now, I am supposed to go back on Monday to get a second HCG level drawn and then again on Tuesday for a follow up appointment. I will post updates when I know more.
April 30, 2008
April 23, 2008
April 9, 2008
I have thought about going to talk with a priest about these things, but in the end I have a feeling that it will still be my struggle alone to deal with. Maybe it is a test or maybe it is my cross to bear... but lately it has been impacting my everyday life more and that is not good, or at least I am not dealing with it well and it is affecting my husband lately too. I have set goals in life which I am failing to meet and that causes me to be more frustrated and worried. I know I should pray more about it and I am going to make a serious effort to do so, but sometimes it is hard not knowing the answer. Maybe in the long run I will realize why things are the way they are now, and God's plan for me will be revealed. It is just so hard to see that from my small and limited perspective.
Sometimes I think maybe I am making mountains out of molehills. After all, I do not lack for food, shelter, clothing, or love in my life. Perhaps I am simply spoiled and ungrateful? I have a good job, or at least one that pays the bills and allows us to set some money aside for savings every month. Not to say that my job isn't stressful, but I am luckier than most people in this world.
Well that is enough venting from me for now. Hopefully it will help relieve some of the pressure and maybe now I can focus enough to go have a conversation with God and be patient enough to wait for his answer.
March 19, 2008
February 18, 2008
February 16, 2008
"Well here is another female perspective. I first have to say the article made me very sad indeed. I have to agree with Anyonymous and Columcille above. Women do have to wake up and realize that this idea of a perfect fantasy man who will ride in, sweep her off her feet, and spend the rest of his life trying only to serve her and make her happy is completely absurd. We are all flawed creatures. I don't like how the author talks about marriage as "settling". I think people should simply have a more realistic, understanding, charitable view of their fellow human beings and especially of the opposite sex. Women today seem so selfish and concerned with finding a "perfect" man. There is no such thing. As Anonymous said above:
"I'm so glad to see that someone is finally realizing that women need to be told that they DO have to make a choice to marry and not keep waiting forever. It's not really "settling" per-se, but it is a wakeup call to realize that we DO have to make choices. And if our dream man is impossible, then we are really choosing to remain single."
If a woman is self centered and unrealistic about what a relationship with the opposite sex really should be then she truly is choosing to remain single, even if she doesn't realize it. Another problem women have these days is how negatively men are represented in main stream culture. We are brainwashed from an early age that men are chauvanistic (sp?), immature, weak, and perverse. Mainstream culture says: if a man wants to marry a woman who will stay home and raise his children he is both chauvanistic and possibly perverse, maybe even immature because he needs someone to take care of him. Heck, lets throw in weak as well since he obviously couldn't stand to be married to a woman who is more successful than him, he must be trying to make himself look stronger by marrying someone passive. HOW RIDICULOUS!! And that is only a mild example of how badly men are maligned in today's culture!
Once upon a time I was a feminist, I thought I would go to college, grad school, maybe get married and then someday think about having children. I have been lucky enough to have been shown the light, so to speak. I married my true love and guess what? He isn't perfect. He is, however, the man of my dreams. How can anyone call that settling?
Lady of the Lakes | 02.14.08 - 12:48 am |
In response to Yikes! above I would venture to put forth the idea that women are at least in part, if not mostly, the reason men today don't "man up" anymore as she (i am assuming Yikes! is a she) put it. The sexual revolution supposedly gave women the power to "enjoy" casual sex as simply another form of entertainment and personal pleasure. So we have women who are no longer discerning with whom they copulate with and do not value their chastity. Think about the effect this has has on men. Why buy the cow indeed! It used to be that men were manly because they had to be to get a mate, they needed to be respectful, responsible, and generally upright sorts. There was more of a dance of courtship between the sexes. Now it seems to go something like this: "I think he's cute and he seems really nice, I wonder if the third date is too early to sleep with him... maybe I should wait till the 4th or 5th." Once she does, having no deeper meaning than a handshake and no build up of anticipation and true feeling, the relationship sooner or later ends and both parties are more injured and empty from the encounter.
I am not suggesting that men are driven solely by their desire for sex in life, many men are driven to do great and not so great things in life by many other factors. However, when it comes to the opposite sex isn't it often the physical attraction to a person that stimulates the formation of a romantic relationship? Why is that a bad thing? I am sure everyone has had a friend of the opposite sex that never became a romantic interest simply because the physical attraction was not there. I think God made us that way for a reason, there is nothing wrong with sexual attraction bringing two people together. The problem is when sex is not taken as seriously as it is intended to be. Women used to have more power when they assumed traditional roles because of their attraction for men. I also would venture to say because they were more mild, modest, and feminine (at least in appearance) they inspired a desire in men to provide for and protect them. Keeping some things a secret only makes them more tantalizing. Men want to feel like MEN, they want to be needed and feel strong. Women today do not inspire this sentiment in the opposite sex for the most part. Their dress is far from modest and their behaviors are often aggressive and uncultured. If you don't believe me take a look at Hollywood. Compare a female actor's appearance and mannerisms from, say, the 1940's or 50's with the female celebrities of today. Which girl is a true man going to want to marry? The sweet and modest girl next door, or the girl who dresses a few notches away from a common prostitute and eschews any behaviors that might give the impression of softness or femininity? Maybe that is a bit extreme and most women fall somewhere in between those two contrasts. Because women treat themselves so crudely, men no longer have to be manly to attract a woman. It will be enough that he is simply good-looking enough to go to bed with. Why should he put in any extra work to become responsible or mature? Now I know there are still men out there who are responsible and mature (I married one ) and lucky is the girl who lands one of these! I also think that there are many men out there who want to be that man but have never been given the opportunity. These are the men that simply need a little nudging and care from a woman who is not afraid to be a womanly.
Lady of the Lakes | 02.16.08 - 9:53 am |
The article Yikes! linked supports my point here. I have to agree with Yikes! when she (again assuming) she says that too many women focus on their careers. I think it is a little more involved than this though. It brings to mind the adage that "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Women, it seems, actually bought into this. They try and achieve a career, family, hobbies, and a fulfilled life all by themselves. The men in their lives are seen as incidental, providing only physical pleasure, comfort, and a warm body to stave off loneliness.
"symptoms of backlash, a masculinity crisis. Men feel threatened by female empowerment, these thinkers argue, and in their anxiety, they cling to outdated roles."
(An excerpt from the article) I don't think men are threatened by empowered women, to say so is misleading. I think men sense the true attitudes of modern women, that they are really only an accessory to a woman who already "has it all" or is striving for this type of life. And if all he is is an accessory, why would we expect him to "man up" or grow up? Who wants to be some high powered, workaholic, oversexed woman's sidekick? Any volunteers? It reminds me of the Queen of heart's husband in Alice in wonderland. If I were a man I would choose to be a boy forever rather than be sentenced to that kind of existence.
Lady of the Lakes | 02.16.08 - 10:28 am |"
February 10, 2008
Ok, so I have had "problem" skin since I was about 12 years old. I used to think I would "grow out of" my acne and oily skin, but that has not happened yet and I am going on 26 so I think it would be a safe bet that I never will. I have tried many many products, mostly over the counter stuff although I did see a dermatologist when I was in high school with unsatisfactory results (liquid nitrogen- ouch!, some kind of cream that made my face look like it was unevenly burned... enough said). So in the past 10 years or so my skin care regimen has been based on products with salicylic acid in them. It doesn't do too bad a job keeping the worst of the acne at bay and sometimes my skin would even look more or less clear, but I have some problems with these products. First of all, it seems like when I use them (especially in winter) I have a strong tendency to get bloody noses. We arent talking a tiny bit of blood on a kleenex here, we are talking 'it looks like someone just punched you in the face' bloody noses. Also they seem to lose their effectiveness over time. So then I would switch to some all natural, organic, nothing in it that I couldn't pronounce, type of product and suffer the oiliness and breakouts again for awhile till I eventually went back to the Neutrogena/Biore/etc. products. Sometimes I would even combine the two, Neutrogena wash, burts bees cream, all natural face wash, Salicylic acid cream, whatever. Did I mention that this type of system is also kind of a pain? It would usually involve a seperate cleanser for day and night and a serperate cream for day and night. Four products in all and extra time to morning and bedtime routines.
Then, a few weeks ago, I got fed up with all the half empty product containers in my bathroom, the bleeding, and the time consuming routine and decided to try something different. Lo and behold it worked! I was down to one, just one, product! No creams, gels, washes, scrubs, anti-acne anything! My skin started to look more even and my breakouts are subdued at least as well as they ever have been if not better. Not that I look like Jessica Simpson on those Proactive commercials or anything but my skin looks good enough that I don't feel too self conscious if I go out to get groceries with no makeup on. What is this miracle product you ask? It is plain old, teenage retro, cooling, soothing Noxzema! I was keeping a jar of it around for soothing sunburns. I have since gone out and bought another jar having used the rest of what I had. The best part is, since I buy the kind with "added moisturizers" I don't even need a cream or lotion. Just wash and I am done. I know this may not sound exciting or interesting to most people but if anyone has battled with their skin for as long as I have (or longer) you will understand the relief in getting rid of all of the junk in your medicne cabinet, cutting about 5 min off your morning and evening routine, and, in my case, no more bloody noses! Alright, that was enough superficial mundane stuff, back to my regularly scheduled (or not so regular) blogging.
Edit: After reading this post I found it sounded like a Noxzema advertisment, which it is not. Well, at least I didn't intend it to be but it sorta turned out that way lol. Too bad they aren't paying me!
February 5, 2008
This Lent is going to be both extremely challenging and extremely transformative for me. I am both looking forward to it and afraid at the same time. I only hope that I can continue to grow towards God and learn to trust myself to him in every way.
February 1, 2008
January 25, 2008
January 23, 2008
January 22, 2008
In other news I am suffering a severe case of baby fever. I have been wanting to have children for what seems like a long time now (over a year or so) and my wonderful husband is finally open to the idea (we have been using NFP to avoid pregnancy). I was really hoping this month would be it but it doesn't look like it is going to happen (or happened?). Sometimes I feel like I wasted so much time in my youth trying not to get pregnant. My priorities were all screwed up back then. I pretty much never questioned the lie that our culture tells its young women, which is if you put yourself and your career first before anything or anyone else you will be happy. Don't get married and have kids young for goodness sake, don't you know you are letting men oppress you if you do that? No, don't save yourself for marriage, we prefer to call casual sex an "expression of personal freedom" (not the personal abuse that it is). Go back to school, move further up in your career, work more hours, climb the ladder, don't put family or your marriage first because they will just weigh you down. When I think of all these falsehoods I just feel so sad sometimes. I suppose I could get really down about all the time lost but a part of me knows if life hadn't happened to me the way it did, I probably wouldn't even be where I am today. I would probably still be chasing that lie instead of being happily married and growing in faith. I am so grateful that I have come to my senses in that respect, God has truly blessed me and continues to bless me even though at times it feels like a struggle. I know God will bless us with children in his own time and that may not be what I think is the right time. In the meantime I will just have to get my baby fix vicariously. The good news about that is that we are going to be an aunt and uncle for the first time pretty soon! I am saying lots of prayers for my sister in law that she will have a safe birth and a healthy baby (she is due Feb 1st). Ok that is probably more than enough rambling for now. :)