January 18, 2011

Small Steps

As a Christmas present to myself this year I got the kindle version of Small Steps for Catholic Moms on our Ipad. I have been reading it day by day, here and there, missing a lot of days but that is ok because as Elizabeth said: "It is a perpetual calendar". I was actually inspired in a roundabout way to write this post after reading the most recent post over at small things.
I have to say I found myself identifying with Ginny's post in a very deep and personal way. More than I usually identify with people whether in person or on the computer. So thank you Ginny for your beautiful post (and, as always, photography). I know how you feel, I really do, I could write those very same words myself. I read the entry for today in Small Steps last night and tried to remind myself over and over to exude joy to my daughter, to the world, but I didn't. I told myself to fake it, but I didn't. I got through the day and my house is cleaner but the day is now done and I can't have it back to do over. I wish I would have laughed with her more, played with her more, been more sensitive to her tender little feelings, not used the "n" word so much ('no'). But, tomorrow is another day and tomorrow I will, even if I have to fake it, I will be joyful. I also know what it is to look back on a childhood and feel anxiety, sadness, turmoil. I do not want this for my daughter or any other children God may bless us with. Tomorrow's entry would have me add more prayer time to our routine, and I might yet do that, but I think I will re-read today's entry in the morning as well and try harder to "Walk and talk and smile as if you have the joy of Jesus in your heart and soul." -Small Steps for Catholic Moms

Thank you Ginny, and thank you Elizabeth.

1 comment:

Faith on the High Wire said...

I think sometimes we all share in what you feel. You're in my prayers!