Apologies

I know there aren't many people who drop by this little blog in it's little corner of the web but I have to apologize if anyone has tried to email me and didn't get a response. It seems my yahoo email has been inactivated from under use (eep!). So I linked a different email in my profile (one that I check more frequently). Once again my humblest apologies if I missed your email.

Thoughts on Abortion

While perusing the blogosphere in the wee hours of the morning it occurred to me that the idea that a baby isn't a person until it has been born is quite simply medieval. I think so called "pro choice" Americans think that they are supremely progressive and that people who are pro life are sadly misguided and mired in the remains of stodgy, stuffy, old fashioned traditions or perhaps are just plain ignorant. For some reason this suddenly strikes me as utterly ludicrous. It could be that it is 5:40 in the morning and I haven't slept yet tonight (last night? oh well...) but I am suddenly struck by the irony of this. With modern science making it possible for babies at younger and younger gestational ages to survive premature birth, with the advent of 3D or 4D ultrasounds that allow us to observe babies as they move about, smile, suck their thumbs, and sleep inside their mother's wombs, even with all of this remarkable progress these "pro choice" proponents insist that it is the mother's choice to kill or not kill the child that counts. They insist in not so many words that a baby, unborn, has no intrinsic value, no rights, no desire to live or die. It is like saying "I can't see germs with my own two unaided eyes, therefore they neither exist, nor have any bearing or effect on my life at all." As if belief in germs (or in an unborn baby's person-hood) was mere superstition. We all know the end of the story with germ theory, why can't we (as a culture) seem to grasp that life, in any and all forms, has value... simply because it is. Life. It is a miracle that each and every one of us is alive today. Only the deeply wounded soul wishes that it was not and only because it has been so very badly damaged and is in such pain that all seems hopeless. Even then the body will revolt against the will and fight to survive. Everything that is alive struggles to remain so, no exceptions. It is a miracle I was conceived and survived to term, it is a miracle my mother and I survived birth, it is a miracle I didn't die of a childhood illness, it is a miracle I am alive today, a miracle I am eternally grateful for. Every child that is born will fight with all the power it has in it's tiny fragile body to survive, the unborn child is no different, for it is just as alive and present as any tiny baby could be. The only thing that separates these two babies is moments of time. In one moment you are unborn, the next you are born. Is it really so difficult a concept? You didn't change into something new when you came out of your mother's womb, it was just the first time anyone had ever seen your "you-ness". You were there for nine months growing and developing, a person the whole time, just so very small and voiceless. A person does not come into existence the minute they exit their mother's body, a person exists the moment they come into existence, as soon as all of the person's DNA is present and lines up the way it will continue to line up for the rest of their life, the moment they are conceived.

Random Updates.

Well I finally started to do some much needed reading these last few weeks. I am currently reading "To Know Christ Jesus"by F. J. Sheed and I read "God is Love" the first Encyclical by Pope Benedict XVI a couple weeks ago. The Encyclical was great and will bear another reading (or 4 or 5) It was kind of a lot to digest. Maybe I am starting in a bit over my head but I was really moved by some of the excerpts I had read and wanted to read more. The book I am reading now is really wonderful. It is bringing me to a whole new understanding of Christ's life. Whenever I have thought about Christ's life in the past it as always been with a kind of misty fairytale perspective, I can imagine all of the events happening but they seem so... well imaginary I suppose. Not so since I started this book, the author makes his life so real and present. This book will also merit a second or third read through since 1) I don't have a bible (I have been meaning to get one) and he references verses and passages that I wish I could read and 2) There is also a lot to digest in this one as well, just trying to wrap my head around the idea of God as man is simply mind boggling at times.

In other news I am suffering a severe case of baby fever. I have been wanting to have children for what seems like a long time now (over a year or so) and my wonderful husband is finally open to the idea (we have been using NFP to avoid pregnancy). I was really hoping this month would be it but it doesn't look like it is going to happen (or happened?). Sometimes I feel like I wasted so much time in my youth trying not to get pregnant. My priorities were all screwed up back then. I pretty much never questioned the lie that our culture tells its young women, which is if you put yourself and your career first before anything or anyone else you will be happy. Don't get married and have kids young for goodness sake, don't you know you are letting men oppress you if you do that? No, don't save yourself for marriage, we prefer to call casual sex an "expression of personal freedom" (not the personal abuse that it is). Go back to school, move further up in your career, work more hours, climb the ladder, don't put family or your marriage first because they will just weigh you down. When I think of all these falsehoods I just feel so sad sometimes. I suppose I could get really down about all the time lost but a part of me knows if life hadn't happened to me the way it did, I probably wouldn't even be where I am today. I would probably still be chasing that lie instead of being happily married and growing in faith. I am so grateful that I have come to my senses in that respect, God has truly blessed me and continues to bless me even though at times it feels like a struggle. I know God will bless us with children in his own time and that may not be what I think is the right time. In the meantime I will just have to get my baby fix vicariously. The good news about that is that we are going to be an aunt and uncle for the first time pretty soon! I am saying lots of prayers for my sister in law that she will have a safe birth and a healthy baby (she is due Feb 1st). Ok that is probably more than enough rambling for now. :)

In Honor of Roe v. Wade

This kind of music is not normally my thing but it made me cry.



Hat tip to the Regular Guy.

It's a Wonderful Life

My husband absolutely LOVES this movie. We have watched it every Christmas since we were married and a few before that. For some reason it never really took hold of me the way it has a hold on him. Sure I would cry at the end when George is returned to his family, and I could appreciate the message of the movie in a simple way, but I didn't really understand his passion for this movie in particular. I think I do now and I am a bit sorry to say I am one of those who was troubled by this movie in the past. I never could quite believe that everything would be alright in the end. I wasn't raised in an environment that promoted the belief that it is a "Wonderful Life". I suppose I was raised a cynic, such a sad thing really since children are naturally quite optimistic. I am even a bit like George Bailey, I always had dreams of becoming a doctor, or a scientist, or someone famous, but I will never be those things. I am not sorry because of it but something in me still hangs on to that hunger for... I don't even know what. Even writing those words was a little difficult for me. I will never be those things. I am a George Bailey, although not nearly as good a person as him, and struggling with my own demons. This article has really given me some things to chew on and I think we may be watching a few more Frank Capra movies in the future. Thanks to Danielle Bean for the link!