I am still here

Still sick all day every day, still throwing up every couple days or so, but still here. This has been much more difficult to handle than I thought it would. God is truly testing me and I don't think I am passing most of the time. I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning to place my trust in Him, however, since so much of what is happening to my body is completely out of my control and the realm of my experience. For example: I always used to say that I just "don't throw up". I hate it so much that I refuse to do it, I won't let myself, etc. etc. I used to believe that it was simply a mind over matter type of thing. I even sometimes thought that people who throw up when they get sick either: a) don't mind throwing up or b) didn't have sufficient willpower not to. Oh how silly and sad and wrong I was. I even read this before I got pregnant and didn't quite believe it, well I believe it now!
(Excerpt courtesy of babygaga.com)

"Some women are lucky; they don’t get morning sickness. There are some that have a little less luck; they get some morning sickness. Then there are the rest of us, the women with weeks of nonstop vomiting.

All that nonstop vomiting has a name: Hyperemesis. I have a feeling that hyperemesis is Latin for “Poor woman that vomits everything in sight.”

Since hyperemesis isn’t that well known, most people tend to ask questions such as “have you tried crackers?” or “I hear that ginger works.”

For many women, the only thing that works is having an 8-pound baby shoot out of her crotch

.

I know that people are trying to be helpful, but it is really hard not to go postal on someone offering “advice,” especially if you spent the night before in the emergency room, getting IV fluids for dehydration.

I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to say “Crackers? Really? That’s all it takes? Eating a few stinking crackers? I’ve been vomiting for five months straight and all I needed to do was eat a stinking cracker?” "

Thank goodness I don't have it that bad!